Moving On Is Hard To Do
by That90sGirl
Summary: AU takes place right after Not Pictured but before Veronica and Keith leave for New York. It starts the day of Cassidy's funeral. LoVe and eventually MaDi. Rated M just incase and for language.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

A/N: This is my first FF ever so keep that in mind while reading! This is an AU story taking place after Not Pictured but before Veronica and Keith leave for New York. I have two different ways this story can go based on how long I am going to make the story. I guess it will depend on how much time I have and whether or not people are reading this. So here is chapter one, enjoy!

_Veronica _

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about all of this. Cassidy was a good kid. At least I thought he was. I hate him; for what he did to me, to the kids on the bus, to Mac. But on the other hand he was also a victim. Fucking Woody Goodman. I'm happy Cassidy is gone, so no more harm can be done to anyone else but it didn't have to end this way.

I look down at my black dress. That's such a cliché; wearing black to a funeral but I know that at this funeral, if anyone shows up at all, no one is going to be celebrating Cassidy's life. All they will be thinking about are the fucked up things that he did. I am included in that group of people. So I think black is an appropriate color for today's events. All of this makes me think of the person Cassidy could have been. So today I will mourn for that boy, the boy that he could have been. The boy that Mac thought she saw. Oh, Mac. I wouldn't be going if it wasn't for Mac. I know she needs me.

I see out of the corner of my eye my dad putting down a plate of toast on the table. I just stare at it. Yeah, like I am in the mood to eat anything right now. Doesn't Dad understand that he could have died? I get it he wants to move on with his life. He wants me to move on with mine too and I know I should, it's just hard.

I hear Dad say, "You should really eat something."

So, to humor Dad I pick up a piece of toast and I hold it with no intention of actually taking a bite. I am saved by another comment from Dad when there is a knock on the door. My dad goes to answer it and I see my boyfriend. I know now I have to put on a brave face, he doesn't need to worry about me anymore than he already is.

I run over to Logan and hug him. He wraps his arms around me and I know there is no other place in the world where I would feel safer. He is dressed in a suit and despite the fact that I know this isn't the time or place; I can't get the thought of how sexy he looks, out of my mind. Logan kisses the top of my head and he drags me back to the kitchen table. He grabs a piece of toast and starts eating it. I give him a lot of credit for being able to eat right now because I know he must be feeling the same as I do.

I decide right now that I have to stop only thinking of my own feelings. They aren't what are important today. My best friend just lost her boyfriend and Logan's best friend just lost his brother. Despite my hatred for Dick, I know that's unimportant now. I cannot even begin to imagine what Dick is feeling.

Ever since the events of graduation day, Logan has been visiting Dick at his house and from what Logan told me, Dick's a mess. I mean, the kid could drink before but nothing like this. Logan checks up on him every so often but doesn't stay too long. Being the guy that saw Cassidy jump off the Neptune Grand, makes Dick sick to see the sight of his best friend. When Dick sees Logan over there, he screams at him, that he could have saved him. So, now Logan tries to stop by after Dick has drank himself to sleep. The kid is like clockwork; Wake up, drink, nap, wake up drink some more, maybe puke, and definitely cry everywhere in between.

This makes me think of Mac and I wonder for the thousandth time that summer how she is. I have stopped by numerous times but every time I do her mother tells me the same thing, "Cindy hasn't come out of her room. I'm sorry Veronica. I'll let her know you stopped by."

I voice my concerns to Logan, "I'm worried about her."

"Who Mac? Yeah, I'm pretty worried too." I'm not sure if Logan and Mac had ever spoken two words to each other before this whole mess but after finding Mac alone in that hotel room, I have a feeling Logan is going to make an effort to be Mac's friend. There is no unseeing that sight; Mac wrapped in a shower curtain just broken.

"I just feel so helpless you know? I want to help her but I don't know how. I want to help Dick too. I can't even imagine."

Logan raises his eyebrows. "Dick? You feel bad for Dick? That's a first."

I laugh, maybe the first real laugh since graduation night. "Logan! He may not be my favorite person sometimes but he's your best friend. That makes him my friend. I want to be there for him too."

"I don't think there is anything we can really do for them except be there for them, for whatever they need. I think I'm going to go to Dick's. Make sure he is dressed and now suffocating in a pool of his own vomit."

"Maybe, I'll head over to the Mackenzie's. Take Mac to the funeral. Knowing her, she would just stay in bed and skip it but I know once she gets out of this funk she won't forgive herself for missing it."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you at the cemetery?" I nod and he kisses the top of my head. I wish we could just stay here forever.

"Give Dick a hug for me." Logan laughs. "What?" I question. I'm not understanding what's so funny about that.

"I doubt that Dick is going to let me come near him with a ten foot pole let alone let me hug him. Bye, Mr. Mars. Thanks for the toast."

Dad waves to Logan, "Bye Logan. Good luck with Dick."

"Thanks, I'm going to need all the luck I can get." On that note, Logan walks out of the apartment.

My dad asks me if I want him to drop me off at the Mackenzie's on his way to the office. I tell him that I'm going to drive myself. He heads towards the door ready to leave for the day, when I run up and hug him. "I love you so much, Dad. You know that right?"

"Of course, Honey. The feeling is mutual. Be safe."

I am now alone in the apartment. Before I leave to go to the Mackenzie's I take a deep breath, now ready to face the day.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited my story! It gives me so much confidence to continue with the story knowing people are enjoying it! I will try to update every few days or so if not at least once a week. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy chapter two!

Chapter Two

_Logan_

I didn't know what to expect going in. The past few days have been rough but I knew today would be different. Today was D-Day. Funeral day. I'm not good at offering comfort or support unless it's for Veronica. I can just hold her and I know that will be enough. But I can't exactly do that for Dick.

I can't blame him for being mad and he doesn't even know the worst part of it. I could have stopped Beav-Cassidy from jumping but I just couldn't do it. At the time I didn't really think of the repercussions of letting him jump. I didn't think of Dick losing his brother or of Mac losing her boyfriend. I just thought of all that he had done to Veronica and in that moment I thought he didn't deserve to live.

I don't regret it per say, but maybe if I were to do it all over I would have stopped him from jumping. Everyone hates him now that he's dead so being alive everyone would probably hate him even more. Fuel the hate fire even more because there is no lingering feelings of sadness cause he died.

I took out Dick's keys that I stole from him. It contains his house keys and his car keys. I didn't trust him not to drive in his drunken state so I confiscated them. It also makes it easier to check up on him.

When I walk in the house the first thing I notice are empty alcohol bottles around the couch then I see Dick asleep, mouth open wide and snoring. I shake my head. I was there yesterday afternoon. How he went through that much alcohol since then scares me. I bite the bullet and wake him up. I shove him a little bit then dart for the other side of the room so he can't hit me back.

"Dick." He doesn't stir. I call his name again.

"Fuck you." I hear in response.

"Come on, man. You have to get dressed. We are gonna be late." I think he is going to cooperative for once but then he just picks up the closet handle of Bacardi. He downs the last drop of it. He then throws it in my direction. I duck just in time and it hits the wall.

"Dick, are you fucking kidding me?" Dick goes to pick up another bottle. He is ready to throw it when I run and grab it from his hands. I kick all other ones, close enough that he could reach, far away.

"What do you want? Can you just leave me alone?" He looks tired and broken and I know that he isn't really mad at me. Just angry at the world and I am the one closest to take it out on.

"Dude, this isn't healthy. I literally was here yesterday and cleaned up. How could you have possibly gone through this many bottles in one day?" Dick looks at the pile of empty bottles that I had pushed together and shrugs.

"Most of them were like half empty when I got to them. Look I just want to drink and be alone. Can you just do that?"

I want to give him what he wants and just able to leave him alone but today isn't his lucky day. "Dick, today is Beav-Cassidy's funeral."

Dick just stared at him. He doesn't move and I decide to go to his room and pick out a suit. I come back down and find Dick with a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

I grab the bottle out of his hands. "Enough. Now put this on. Don't make this already harder than it needs to be." He snatches the suit out of my hands and the bottle of tequila as well. He heads to the bathroom to put the suit on.

I look around the room and notice that some of the pictures on the walls have been knocked down. I pick up one of the frames and turn it over. The photographed showed Dick with an arm around Beaver's neck. They both were smiling and looked so happy. The picture couldn't have been more than six or so months old. The thought sends a chill down my spine. No one could tell that Beaver was a psychotic killer. He always seemed so normal. I little weird and quiet compared to me and Dick but for the most part normal. If only he had told someone what he was going through back in little league but if he had told would it have made any difference? Would Dick Senior or Dick done anything about it? Or would they have told him to shake it off and be a man.

That thought I try to shake out of my head. I don't want to believe that they wouldn't care. That thought is way too close to home and makes me think of my father. And he is the absolute last person I want to think about right now. To be honest I don't even know what to think about Aaron dying. I, of course, make jokes to Veronica about the whole thing. Calling myself Little Orphan Annie and Harry Potter. She of course sees through me but it's just not something I'm ready to talk about.

Dick comes out the bathroom. "Ready?"

Dick laughs. It scares me, the laugh. I think I would rather him throw another bottle at my head than hear that laugh again. "Sure."

We head out to my Xterra. As we are buckling ourselves in I hear Dick speak. It was so soft I was sure I imagined it at first. "How am I supposed to show to this thing when everyone there is going to be thinking how this is all my fault?"

I look at Dick. Pure shock is written all over my face. "No one thinks that."

"You saw the way I treated him. Everyone did."

"Dick, this is not your fault. If we are going to play any blame game we could follow the yellow brick road all the way back to Woody Goodman."

Dick stays silent and pulls a flask out of his pocket. He takes a swig of it and he holds it in my direction. I contemplate his offer for a second before grabbing the flask and taking a sip. I don't know if I could get through this without a little alcohol in my system. Once I'm done I roll done the window and poor the rest of the substance out the window.

"Dude, what the fuck."

"You need to stop, Dick. It's too much."

I get ready to put the car in drive when my phone rings. I see its Veronica's name on the screen and I pick up.

"Hey thank god I caught you." I hear my girlfriend say on the other end.

"Yeah, we were just about to leave. What's up?"

"Do you think you could pick us up? My car won't start."

"Of course. I'm on my way."

"Thanks, Logan. Mac lives on Colony Place." I hang up the phone and start driving.

"We have to pick up Veronica on the way."

"Great and I thought this day couldn't get any better clearly I was wrong."

I wish I hadn't poured the rest of the alcohol out on the street. I could have used it. It's going to be a long day.


End file.
